Waiting
Why do we wait when we know we need to act? Why do we stall by drumming up meaningless tasks under the guise of preparation?
Waiting is the brother of worrying. Both are children of fear.
Waiting can be procrastination, but it can also be over-prudence. Shel Silverstein illustrates how much effort we can put into the appearance of preparing. We check, double check, and triple check, as if that’s somehow going to change the outcome. We fail to be honest with ourselves about that moment when our planning turns into stalling. The busyness is our way of tricking ourselves out of examining what holds us back. Why don’t we dive?
Waiting is a euphemism for not acting. It reminds me of the Desmond Tutu quote about remaining neutral in the face of oppression. Not acting is a choice that sometimes means missing a precious window of opportunity. The paradox of choice confronts us all: we become paralyzed by the multitude of options available to us, trying to optimize for the very best one. Yet as noted in Algorithms to Live By:
No choice recurs. We may get similar choices again, but never that exact one. Hesitation—inaction—is just as irrevocable as action.
We think waiting protects us from the possibility of rejection, failure or harm. It often does. It can help us make better decisions if it enables us to gather more information. But when we keep saying “later,” we create the illusion that we’re being wise when we’re actually being weak, that we’re being independent when we’re actually being run by fear. These are our primitive minds at work. Their only job is to ensure our survival by protecting us from perceived threats.
Waiting is non-committal. Hamilton points this out to Burr when he questions what he’s willing to fall for, if he stands for nothing. Burr’s motives are flaky and muddled. Ultimately, his inaction is his downfall. With a foil as passionate and ambitious as Hamilton, Burr’s lack of conviction appears in stark relief as he fails to achieve the power he so wants. Of note: the play isn’t called Burr…
Our lives are governed by skill and luck but, writes Maria Konnikova, “luck is a short - term friend or foe. Skill shines through over the longer time horizon.” We develop skill by taking shots. If we wait to make the perfect shot, the pressure on that one effort becomes enormous. And many, like Burr, mess it up…or life, in the form of chance, messes it up for us.
The longer we stay up on the diving board, the fewer chances we have to hit the water, get out score and get better. There’s really no glory in waiting in and of itself.
No one who made a dent on the world was eulogized as a “wait-er.”